Toast of London

Afternoon Tea

Toast's excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two facts. One, his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in it. Two, there's a rumour his director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. Romantically, Toast has to choose between his old RADA contemporary, the fun-loving and beautiful Greta Cargo and a prostitute...

Vanity Project

Toast is caught in the middle of an acrimonious and expensive divorce so he needs to find a lot of cash, fast. Given two potential solutions; a starring role in a new feature film being made by a rich Arab billionaire or a laxative ad, he plumps for the former, despite the protestations of his agent, Jane Plough. But given the content of the movie, has Toast made the right decision?

Submission

Toast's new girlfriend, the aristocratic Portia de Coogan, thinks it's about time Toast met her father, Lord Fotheringham. To make the best impression, it's vital Toast works on his non-existent sense of humour. Professionally, some voiceover work for the Royal Navy leads to a terrifying visit to the launch of their latest submarine - The Penetrator.

The End

Toast is fed up with his current jobs. With the help of a new agent, Brooke Hooberman, he tries his hand at a new career; an author of erotic literature. He also finds himself a glamorous new lady friend, Kate Khan, who would be perfect if she didn't have her deaf, dumb and blind aunt constantly in tow.

Bonus Ball

After losing £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game, Toast finds himself being hunted by musical superstar and part-time theatre-land enforcer, Michael Ball. Needing cash quick, a desperate Toast agrees to dub some gay art house porn. When his nemesis, Ray Purchase, catches him in bed with his wife again, Toast is caught up in a life or death showdown with both Purchase and Ball on the stage of his appalling play... Meanwhile his agent, Jane Plough, thinks he may have won the role of James Bond, if he survives.